How to Talk About Sex With Your Partner

Relationship and marriage problems can be caused by problems with sex and sexual satisfaction. Even though it’s a frequent problem, it might be scary to talk about sex with your spouse. You might find it easier to talk about problems with strangers online than with your partner, which might be why sex is spoken about so often in online relationship forums.

These interactions can cause a lot of stress, which might make you want to avoid them completely. But if you know a few tricks, “the sex talk” will be easier, and you’re likely to find it worth the trouble.

How to Talk to Your Partner About Sex

• Start slowly.
• Focus on intimacy.
• Skip surprises.
• Express yourself.
• Talk often.

Reasons to Talk About Sex With Your Partner

Researchers have shown that couples are happier with their sexual lives when they talk about them a lot. If you’re having problems with your sexual life, being honest with your partner about them might make your sexual life and your relationship better

When you talk to each other openly, you might feel closer to each other and build a stronger friendship. In fact, being honest with your partner could make you both happier with your relationship as a whole.
A 2019 study found a correlation between better sexual communication and more sexual satisfaction and fewer fake orgasms

The study’s authors claimed, “Women who kept making up orgasms were more likely to say it made them feel embarrassed to talk about sex with their partner in explicit ways.” “More than half of women said they wanted to talk to a partner about sex but didn’t because they didn’t want to hurt their feelings, they didn’t feel comfortable going into details, or they were embarrassed.”

Important Topics to Discuss

You and your partner should talk about these things when it comes to sex

• Change in libido
• want to try something different
• Planning a family
• Feelings of being turned down sexually or always having to start sex
• Lack of closeness or a longing for more love
• not enough sexual pleasure
• Problems with sexuality

Talking About Safe Sex

Having safe sex is important, especially if other people can see your relationship. Ask your partner if they’ve used condoms and other safety precautions when they’ve had sexual relationships with other people. In the same way, be honest about what you do. If any of you haven’t had safe sex before, talk about the tests everyone should take.

When two people are in a monogamous relationship, it might be hard to talk about this topic if it brings up questions of fidelity. If you’ve had any form of sexual activity with someone else or think your partner has, it’s time to have an honest, if hard, talk and test.

Talking About Your Desires

Your level of comfort is a big aspect of having a good sexual life. Your partner can’t read your mind, so telling them what you want and need might help both of you have a better sexual encounter. Talk about what gets you excited and makes you want someone. If your partner isn’t living up to your expectations, tell them in a kind and helpful way and suggest what they could do to improve.

Try talking about what you want to do with your body. At first, this might be hard, but remember that everyone has them, and they tend to fall into a few common groups. Being this open with your lover might make you feel closer to them and might even give you some new ideas for sexual activity.

When You Don’t Want Sex

The amount of sexual desire can alter from day to day, and sometimes two people just don’t have the same level of sexual desire. Remember to be honest and sensitive with your partner when you don’t want to do something.

If your partner’s low or mismatched libido happens often and causes problems in your relationship, you might want to talk to a doctor or counsellor for guidance. When it comes to sex desire, there are numerous things to think about, such as your physical and emotional health.

When to Talk About Sex

There are good and bad times to talk about sex with your partner. Waiting until the proper time to bring up the subject will help you avoid some of the awkwardness and discomfort that can come up during sex chats. Also, you should:

• Choose a neutral place. Don’t talk about sexual matters in your bedroom or right before going to bed.Choose a place that is neutral, private, and easy for both of you.
• Avoid post-sex discussions. Don’t discuss problems that have to do with sex shortly after having it. Wait until you can look at the situation with greater objectivity and distance.
• Avoid blindsiding your partner. If you wish to talk about sexual troubles, tell your spouse that you think the two of you need to chat (without pointing fingers). Set a time and place, and plan ahead of time about what you want to talk about.

How to Talk About Sex With Your Partner

Here are some ways to make it simpler for both of you to talk about sex.

Slowly get going

Start the conversation with a “soft start.” Start with the goal of getting closer and feeling more connected to your partner. Avoid blaming. Don’t criticise each other. Instead, talk about things you can do together to make your sex life better.

Focus on getting close

Don’t forget that affection and closeness are just as vital as how often you see someone. 6 Look into ways to become closer and feel more connected that don’t involve sexual activity, and talk about how you want to be loved and cared for in other ways.

Leave out the surprises

You should both be on the same page, so have these talks before you surprise your partner with anything. Talk about things you could both like and dreams you both have. If you do decide to try some of these things in your relationship, you should both undertake research on your alternatives.

If you want to avoid problems in your sex relationship, don’t buy sex advice books or sex gadgets before talking to your partner about it.

Express Yourself

Talk to each other about your hopes, anxieties, wants, and worries, and be honest. Share your deepest thoughts and feelings about your sexual relationship, and make it comfortable enough for your partner to do the same.

Talk Often

The “sex talk” shouldn’t be a one-time thing; it should be a regular aspect of your relationship and something you talk about often. Over time, needs and wants can change. Check in frequently with your partner.

Understand Your Sexual Style

Getting to know your sexual style might help you and your partner figure out what kinds of closeness you both enjoy the most. Find out more about each other’s ways of being sexual. At some point, all couples go through various styles or moods.

• Spiritual: This is a coming together of mind, body, and soul that shows how much you love being with each other. Taking notice of the little things in your life can help you feel closer to God.
• Funny: Laughing and teasing each other in bed is a way to have fun. There is something bright and fun in the background.
• Angry:Even if you’re mad at each other, making love might help you feel better. But you should deal with the problems at some point.
• Lusty: This look is naughty and seductive. You might give each other flirty looks or have a short fling in a strange place. This is about how much fun and pleasure there is in having sex.
• Tender: This type of sex is soft, romantic, and therapeutic. It could include massages, light touches, and helping each other out. You both like how your bodies feel and focus on making each other happy.
• Fantasy: With this approach, you and your partner work together to be brave and try new things. If you and your partner want to act out your dreams in bed, make rules and respect each other’s limits.

If you and your partner have different ways of being sexual, it can help to talk about them. Talking about your differences can help you understand them and deal with them in a way that makes you both happy. If you and your partner need support, you could also try sex therapy.

A Word From Very well

The proverb goes, “Good lovers are made, not born.” Take the time to chat to each other if you want your sexual connection to be the best it can be.

Talking to each other often is a crucial part of a good relationship, and that includes talking about sex. Every relationship needs to have this talk, and it’s not just something they do once. It’s something that you and your lover should do together often from the start of your relationship on. A healthy sexual life is a wonderful gift that should be cherished and taken care of.

Frequently Asked Questions

• How do you talk to your partner about pain during sex?

If you’re having dyspareunia (pain during sex), don’t suffer in silence. Tell the truth to your partner. Get medical help to figure out what’s wrong. It’s crucial that you feel comfortable, and a good sexual partner should understand and support you.

• How do you talk about sex without it being awkward

The less awkward it is to talk about sex with your spouse, the more you talk about it. Don’t forget that your partner can’t read your thoughts, and they may feel better if you tell them what’s on yours. Choose a spot that isn’t distracting or noisy, and stay away from criticism.

• How do you talk about sex problems with your partner

Like every other problem in your relationship, deal with it the same way. Be aware of how your partner feels and don’t criticise them. Choose a neutral place and time when you won’t be interrupted so that both of you may feel safe and be as honest as possible. A secure place to discuss sexual concerns can also be found in couples counselling

• How do you talk about sex with a potential marriage partner?

If your spouse looks interested in getting married, you should talk about what you want out of sex. For most people, it’s a key part of a healthy marriage, and knowing what’s important to your partner can help you get closer. Start slowly, go somewhere neutral where you won’t be interrupted, and be aware of how your partner feels.You might also attempt pre-marital counselling, which can be a secure environment for some couples to talk about sex.